History was made today as many educated people of a developed country voted for a judge from a reality TV show to be their 45th President. For those of you who don’t know who I am talking about, he kinda resembles this guy –
That’s not the real Donald Trump BTW, the guy in the image is funnier and does a better Trump impression than Donald.
So it’s official, the real estate mogul is the president of the most powerful nation in the world and is promising to build the nation. Literally, he wants to build stuff in the cities. I mean he is in real estate, of course, he is going expand his business empire as the POTUS.
But the fact is, as president, Trump is going to have meetings with leaders of different countries, states, islands etc. Keep in mind these leaders will include some women, Hispanics, Muslims, Hindus, Jews and people of the other religious beliefs. He is also going to meet some CEOs and other business owners. Can you imagine what he’ll say to these people?
Now keep in mind I am not saying that any of this is going to happen and Trump may end up being extremely polite to these people, but for humour purposes, let’s just imagine for a while.
**I am not going to name all the politicians or world leaders. This post is simply for humour purposes. It doesn’t intend to offend/hurt anyone. This was just compiled taking inspiration from some infamous quotes by POTUS. The rest is all imagination.
Just for your reference here are some quotes by the president of United States-
At the third presidential debate, he called Hillary Clinton “A Nasty Woman.”
Now the real Nasty quotes –
“I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.”
“Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.”
“If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.”
“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”
If you still like him, check this one out about his own daughter –
“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Now some racist ones –
On Japanese – “They can sit home and watch Sony television”
On African Americans-
“I’ve got black accountants at Trump Castle and Trump Plaza. Black guys counting my money! I hate it”
“And it’s probably not his fault because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.”
“I have a great relationship with the blacks. I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks.”
Now to the things he never actually said. But these will make for some offensive yet funny scenarios.
The Japanese –
The Japanese Ambassador to the USA enters Trump’s office.
Trump turns to his secretary and whispers – “Hey! Do we have any sushi here?”
Japanese Ambassador – “Congratulations! President Trump”
Trump – “Thanks, Naruto. I have ordered some sushi..”
Japanese Ambassador – “That is not my name.”
Trump – “Oh. So what’s on Sony these days?”
Trump – “Modi! I am so glad you are here. I have been practising some Hindi, check this out, Aapko milke samose hue”
Narendra Modi (The Indian Prime Minister), puzzled, hands over a wrapped gift to trump – “Very Nice. President Trump, congratulations. Kindly accept this on our behalf.”
Trump takes the gift and smiles – “Let me guess, A Indu (that’s how they pronounce Hindu) God. I have always wanted one for my office. I love Indus.”
Modi – “There are more religions in our country. Actually, we are a secu…”
Trump interrupts – “Indus. I love Indu Gods and I love cows. That reminds me, there is this amazing steak place right around the corner. You guys are going to love it.”
Modi yells “No F^$king way.” turns to his secretary and whispers – “wapas ki flight prepone kar de. Cancel Sushma’s visit”
The Mexican official to UN enters the office where both Melania Trump and POTUS are.
Trump – “Oh my God! Melania get behind me.” picks up his telephone, “Send security to my office right F%^3ing now.” Picks up a pen and points it to the Mexican official “Get back. She is my wife.” Thinks to himself – I really need that wall up.
A Muslim Guy from a Middle-Eastern nation –
Trump – “Why is this happening to me? First a Mexican, now this guy.” Picks up the phone “Call security. Evacuate the White House right now. F%&ing immigrants.”
An African-American leader from UN –
Trump – “Hey! My man. I’ve had great relationships with blacks. Let me show you some naked pictures I clicked with a black woman.”
African-American Leader – “What are you doing? I don’t want to see that. You are the president for God’s sake.”
Trump – “Oh relax brotha. The woman isn’t naked in the pictures.” Turns to the man “I am.”
British Prime Minister –
Trump – “Ok now WTF? A woman can be Prime Minister? Oh God! What has happened to those tea lovers?
Mark Zuckerberg –
Trump – “Yo Facebook! How do I remove my previous status updates about women from your website?”
Evan Spiegel –
Trump – “Man, I love your app. I just started sending snaps of my…. Wait a minute! Where’s Miranda? I specifically asked for her when I invited you.”
Maria Carfagna (An Italian politician who used to be a model)-
Trump – “Oh Yeah! You know, you look the future Fourth Lady of The United States.”
Maria – “Excuse me”
Trump – “Don’t talk. As it is I don’t understand your accent.”
Again, I repeat, this is not intended to offend any individual. None of this has happened before and chances are it won’t happen in the future. Let’s just hope for the best.
If you are offended in any way, well then he is the president and he has said even weirder stuff before. Don’t be surprised if my jokes become a reality.